1986 Fleer Reggie Patterson (Card No. 376)
Reggie Patterson's claim to fame is probably being the Cubs pitcher who gave up Pete Rose's 4191st hit on September 8, 1985, tying him with Ty Cobb for the all-time hits record. Although Patterson won the last three games he started for the Cubs in 1985, he never pitched again in the major leagues. This photo shows a grumpy Patterson hanging out with the tarp and some bags. It's beautiful.
1996 Topps Stadium Club Todd Zeile (Card No. 420)
Todd Zeile came over in a trade with the Cardinals on June 16, 1995 for Mike Morgan and some minor leaguers. In this technology time capsule, Zeile is clearly on the phone with Jerry Maguire seeking a deal to get him out of Chicago.
1993 O-Pee-Chee Premier Candy Maldonado (Card No. 83)
"Ya girl, tell me more about your cats, they sound so interesting." This card creeps me out.
1998 Topps Scott Servais (Card No. 92)
1994 Upper Deck Collector's Choice Glenallen Hill (Card No. 137)
Glenallen Hill will forever be known for the monster home run he hit onto the rooftop across from Wrigley Field and having violent spider nightmares. On this occasion, however, he apparently just had some loaded brownies and wanted to be close to the towels.
1993 Upper Deck Andre Dawson (Card No. 308)
Well, certainly not as direct as the Hawk getting beaned in the face but Upper Deck did a great job here simulating Andre Dawson running his face into the brick wall after making this spectacular catch. Ouch.
1976 Topps Rick Reuschel (Card No. 359)
Hey Rick, do you mind grabbing a helmet to pose for a quick picture? Thanks for being so accommodating, how about a big smile and an awkward lean-in, too?
1981 Fleer Lynn McGlothlen (Card No. 302)
Okay, apart from crappy photo quality the big question remains, why is there a sack of potatoes on the field?
1993 Fleer Greg Hibbard (Card No. 379)
I can't think of another card in which a Cubs player is depicted on his card in a White Sox uniform but even better is the transaction triangle stating that Hibbard came to the Cubs from the Marlins. This card sets the record for most teams listed on the front of a card.
1984 Fleer Jay Johnstone (Card No. 495)
This one is great not only for jokester Johnstone's Budweiser umbrella hat but also for the look on his face. It's as if he just found out someone ate the last loaded brownie.
1978 Topps Dave Kingman (Card No. 570)
In 1977, Dave Kingman played for the Mets, Padres, Angels and Yankees, setting a record as the only player ever to have hit a home run for a team in each of the four divisions (at that time) in the same season. For his 1978 card, the folks at Topps turned to their talented airbrush artists and gave them one simple instruction, "Get rid of everything but his face, even if you have to chop off his right ear!"
1994 Topps Stadium Club Dan Plesac (Card No. 256)
This one tops the list only because of all of the levels of drugs it passed through on the way to be approved for manufacture. Plesac was on acid. The photographer was on acid. The person who selected the photo was on acid. The person who centered the photo was on acid. Even Plesac's ghost was on acid. This is the epitome of weird.
Anyway, here's what Mark Grace thinks of these cards: